Ha!

The hilarity of the present situation has not escaped me. I'm having the time of my goddamn life and no silly rumour in a silly, underpaid magazine can deter me. They do, however, enjoy rehashing my misspent youth by listening every celebrity it was reported I had sex with over the course of the 1980s. Most of the time, they are correct. But I did not touch either of the Coreys and I want that to be known.

Sister, as you'll undoubtedly see this some day, there's nothing you can say, nothing you can do to get me to change my mind. You're one sort of person and I am vastly different. Mum and Papa can simply let it go.